Cash on Delivery

Dear Sundiver,

Last time I bought some weed, I gave my drug dealer some money to get a stash for a friend. He told me he'd get back to me in a couple of days. It's been three days and I haven't heard from him.
How long do I wait before I call him?

Twisting in the Wind

Twisting, you were pretty foolish fronting the whole thing. Never front more than half the money. I'd wait five days before I called him. No scientific reason, just what my gut tells me.

Meeting People

Bush Cocaine by costa cobosta.

Dear Sundiver,

Do you have any advice on how to find a good drug dealer?

I'm new to the game.

Noob



Noob Dude,

That's cool. We're all new to the scene sometime. Really, it's all about getting to know people, you just have to be conversational and try to get out more. Going to parties is good. Try going to live shows. Hang with smokers, always have a lighter. If people ask if you smoke, say "Not cigarettes." Weed is the easiest thing to find, it should be fucking legal and everybody knows it... especially the cops. Doesn't mean they won't break your balls if they're having a bad day, but a joint isn't anything to get excited about.

Stoners are usually easy to pick out. They're the laid-back ones. If you want something harder than weed, ask the guy who sells you weed. He doesn't carry it, but he knows someone who knows someone.

Whatever you do, never mention the words drug or dealer. You ask for a little somethin-something and everyone who's cool will know exactly what you're talking about.

Or you could get a job working for a criminal defense attorney. You meet all sorts of interesting people in my line of work.

Later Noob Dude.

Holding Your Own

Dear Sun Diver,

Can I get away with accepting weed from friends without
ever offering any back?

Sincerely,
Not Holding


  
   la cajita feliz - feel good hit of the summer  by melinka. 

N.H., it depends upon how good of friends you are with them.

For instance, if you give them sex regularly, the weed is probably freely offered.

Otherwise, you owe them a bonghit now and then. Dope smoking brings people closer together,
but nobody likes a mooch.

If you are too terrified to actually buy drugs from those scary drug dealers,
at least buy your friend dinner and take them out to a movie...

Prior to giving them sex.

Avoiding Oversharing

Yeah you know by RecklessEndangerment.

Dear Sundiver,

I hope that you can help me with a reoccuring and awkward social problem I've been finding myself in recently. As you know, every avid pot enthusiast has his cherished story about carrying in public, nearly getting caught by the police or other authority figure, and narrowly escaping through wit or good fortune. My friend (let's call him Tom) was busted for possession when he was young and spent a few years in Chino. The problem arises when hanging with people unaware of Tom's history. Inevitably, the round of "nearly got busted, but..." stories begin. It is terribly awkward knowing that sooner or later Tom will be forced to tell his story with its less than happy ending. This often leads to sour mood changes, abrupt ends to evenings, and less invitations to hang. I want to help the guy, but I'm stymied. Do you have any advice for me, or for my friend?

Bummed in Baltimore


BB, as with many awkward social situations, the best thing to do is to change the subject as unobtrusively as possible. One surefire method of changing the conversation when dealing with potheads is to bring up the topic of food and everyone will instantly get the munchies.

Tipping with Drugs

Contrejour, originally uploaded by Loutseu.

Dear Sundiver,

I order pizza from an this great little pizza joint that is obviously run by and for stoners. I offered a delivery driver a bong hit the other day instead of a cash tip and he enthusiastically took me up on it. We didn't offer him a cash tip, though, and later I felt a bit bad about that...but that just might be paranoia talking. Does etiquette require me to offer cash and a hit? One or the other? Should I offer all delivery drivers from this same shop this same option (assuming they seem cool and I'm holding)? Is this a really foolish policy on my part?


Answer:
While tipping delivery drivers with bong hits may seem like a generous gesture, it's probably better to stick to cash tips as you don't want to encourage people to drive while really high. Remember, it's all good fun until someone gets run over...

Drug Tipping

BLOW by ontheup.

Dear Mr. Sundiver:

I've tipped sources before (drug dealer is such a perjorative term) and the first two of them thanked me and took my money. But the third guy seemed a bit offended and turned me down. I've been wary of offering tips ever since then. I often tip for good service at places with tip jars. Is it inappropriate to offer a tip after a successful transaction?

Generous to a Fault

Generous, there's nothing wrong with tipping dealers, it's actually good karma. But if a certain dealer doesn't want the tip, don't offer one a second time.